Archive for NaNoWriMo

You know what the trouble with me is…

Posted in writing with tags , , on August 9, 2009 by cuttydarke

I’ve been thinking hard about why the rejection from the University hurt so much and what that means for me and it occurs to me that I am particularly sensitive to rejection.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I get rejected a lot.  You’d think that I’d be used to it by now and that I wouldn’t care but I clearly do.  In fact the more I think about it the more sure I am that I care a lot.  I’ve been assuming that my problem is a fear of failure combined with chronic laziness but I now realize that I’m not lazy at all and I’m scared of something else.

Look at my record at NaNoWriMo.  If I was scared of failure then why did I ever try?  Why did I keep going when it got tough?  If I’m lazy then why pick something that’s such hard work?  Why do I relish the work?  Why did I seek out the extra challenge of becoming Municipal Liaison?  NaNoWriMo is like an exam.  You either pass or fail.  You either hit 50,000 words in time or you don’t and it’s entirely up to you.  Success or failure is not subjective, you can’t be judged by other people and they can’t take it away from you.

I like exams and tests and puzzles.  Maybe I like them because they can’t reject me.  Either I’m right or I’m wrong.  Either pass or fail.  I succeed or fail because of my ability.  It doesn’t matter what I look like or how I dress or who I know or my social ineptitude or my past failures or successes.

But writing isn’t a test.  The quality of writing is almost entirely subjective.  I love the work of William Gibson but my husband, who has very similar tastes, can’t stand him and that’s the problem.  Even the best writers get rejected.  They get rejected a lot before they find the right agent/publisher.  And you don’t find an agent/publisher unless you put your work out there ready for rejection.

I think this is the real reason I’ve never finished any of my novels to my own satisfaction.  It they were finished I’d have to send them off for someone to reject.  And reject.  And then reject some more.  And because rejection is so common I wouldn’t even be able to throw the towel in and say “That’s it.  I’m a terrible writer.”

So how do I deal with this fear?  How can I truly be a writer when I can’t bare to send my work out to face rejection?


Epic Fail

Posted in complaining, writing with tags on November 6, 2008 by cuttydarke

Well today has been thoroughly awful. I’ve been playing catch up all day, I have spent money I didn’t want to spend and I have experienced epic fail. By 8pm my legs were hurting so much I swear it would have hurt less to just set them on fire.

On the upside I haven’t actually fallen behind in this month’s novel, even though some of the scenes I’ve written today were pretty bad. But I can live with pretty bad as long as it’s down. I can always fix it in the edit but only if it’s there to begin with. However I’m still not happy with my progress. I know this novel is going to be bigger than 50,000 words and so far I am not on target to get more than 60,000 in the month. I need to speed up or I am going to get totally bogged down next week.

I must do better. Hopefully by not falling behind I’ve left myself with a base to build on.

Posted in complaining, writing with tags , on October 30, 2008 by cuttydarke

Well NaNoWriMo is almost upon us. My preparation as the Municipal Liaison for Aberdeen has been fairly good but my preparation as writer has been sadly lacking. I have very little clue about how I’m going to start come Friday night.

And I have a new keyboard. It’s rubber and flixible and water proof but it’s taking some getting used to.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Posted in complaining, News, writing with tags , on October 2, 2008 by cuttydarke

Hi again.

I’ve had another couple of articles published. One on Roleplaying and another one on 30 day novel writing.

I’m still recovering from my surgery but I’m getting better. I’m able to eat solids now but only in very small amounts.

I’m looking forward to November and NaNoWriMo. I’ve been officially named the Municipal Liason for Aberdeen which now has it’s own reigonal lounge. Unfortunately the NaNoWriMo site still seems to be down. Oh well, we’ve got the whole month to prepare.

Posted in Crochet, etsy, News, Uncategorized with tags , , on September 10, 2008 by cuttydarke

On Tuseday I slept a lot. I crocheted a lot. I thought about the novel a fair bit. I photographed my jewelry. I moved my computer.

Not a lot then.

If anyone is interested I am currently working on the ‘comfy cardi’ pattern from Crochet Me. I’ll post a pic when it’s done.

The jewelry will be appearing on my Etsy shop soon.